Condemned to Success Wednesday, 19 January 2011 10:49 Written by Charlie (aka Shanghai Dude)

What is it with the Shanghai Dolls? I know I am starting with a question that probably has more than one answer. I still have to wonder. One disappears for weeks, only to start talking about her next vacation as soon as she lands. The third one goes through life with an accent that reveals an intriguing personality. The next has a mysterious dancing and the last one goes with eyebrow revolution.

Is it too much for one intake? I did it. So will you. Please stay with me.

Difficult task to talk about this group of Dolls since their background is diverse, their issues are: from a man’s perspective, let’s say…difficult to comprehend. There is a lot of understanding on this side of the aisle and real comprehension takes more than good will.

It takes attitude. Just like Simona.

Ooops!! I just mentioned one of them. I swore to myself that I would keep their names secret, but since my computer doesn’t know how to delete… Anyway, Simona is a Shanghai Doll condemned to success but on vacation. Yeap, she loves to travel and takes full advantage of it. Her predisposition to take a vacation never takes time off. There she was, all relaxed from her holiday break. Friends, family, and wonderful food put Simona in a wonderful mood…to start thinking about her next break.

My imagination:
Me: So Simona, how was your vacation?
Simona: It was great; I had a wonderful time with friends and family. I really needed a break since my job takes a lot of me…you know?
Me: I bet it does. You have lots of responsibilities and eventually you need to take a break. Bla, bla, bla.

Real conversation:
Me: So, Simona: how was your vacation?
Simona: I think I am going to New Zealand this summer !!!!

That’s attitude for success.

Got Pillows?

How to deal going with a Doll to IKEA, walking amongst hundreds of people, selecting silverware (or maybe not), cups (nope), napkins! (nope), ahhh…pillows, yes pillows!, but which one? How many different types of pillows a Shanghai Doll needs to sleep comfortably?

The answer is: THREE.

Or were four Samar? Oooops.

So, after spending several dozen minutes selecting, rejecting, re-selecting, and re-re-rejecting there was light at the end of the tunnel: A slim, young, Chinese sales associate that was the light. He was standing next to a whole bunch of pillows thinking more about taking a nap that dealing with you know who. Did I mention Samar?

Excuse me? Excuse me? EXCUSE ME!!!!! Samar sweetly caught the associate’s attention. And the slim, young associate had no choice. Looking rather disoriented by the energy of this Doll, he realized that he was condemned…but no to success…..

Sleeping: looking up, on the side, or breathing against the pillow (face down). All those options are available, just for sleeping. Isn’t it Amazing? And Samar seems to sleep in all those positions! Amazing again!

After a few more dozen of minutes, she had all the pillows she needed. Great, we are done I told myself in a quiet voice (just in case). Nope. She was so happy, that she started dancing and singing like Gene Kelly in ‘Singing in the Rain’ movie. Instead of holding an umbrella she was holding a cart full of pillows. The next stop was: sheets.

It was the same story, all over again. Samar left IKEA with integrity, happy, and an empty wallet.

A complete success.

A lawyer, A liar, and Mariah, The Story of Sofie: The Australian Doll

Sofie is...no. Is not that. Sofie creates the most interesting…no, no this is not either. Ah! Sofie has a particular talent. Yes, this is it. It is the first person I know were the word lawyer, liar, and Mariah sound exactly the same! Isn’t that talent or WHAT?

Yes Sofie… what? What? What? I do not understand what you say! Hold on. The phone is ringing.

Me: Hello?
Me: Hey Sofie, how are you?
Me: Yes, yes.
Me: What?    
Me: Hummm.
Sofie: howahya?
Me: yes it was cold today.
Sofie: ? (silent)
Me: Sofie? Are you there?
Sofie: yea I am hea!
Me: do you feel better?
Sofie: oh yea.
Sofie: mycousinjeremiahtoldmetoeatpapaya
Sofie (continues): mylawyerwhoisalairsayswhenhefeelsickthinksoftheassofmariah
Me: Sofie please relax. Do you have a fever or something?
Sofie: got to go
Me (thinking finally I understood and could start a real conversation!): Why do you need to go?
Me: Sofie? Hello?  HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sofie was gone. Obviously she had something to do. Not sure what.  Then I meditated about Sofie and her Australian accent in Shanghai.

She is another successful story. Another Doll condemned to success.

Why you may ask. Everyday, Sofie goes to work, committed, happy and determined. So Sofie goes and goes. Sofie talks and talks with that God given accent. And Sofie teaches English in Shanghai. THIS IS A COMPLETE SUCCESS.

What’s up with the Eyebrow Bro?

OK, this might sound surrealistic but yes there are places, spaces, clinics, not sure how to call them where women go to fix their eyebrows. Yes, my fellow dudes, those places exist and not in a parallel universe: Right here in Shanghai.

Once upon a time was this Shanghai Doll. Let’s call her…Florencia…Giner…from Argentina (a.k.a. ‘Coco Shanghai’, a.k.a. ‘Fashionista’ against ‘Fashion Confusion’). She tells me: ‘while you get a hair cut, I need to go to the Brew Clinic’. At least that is what I understood.

'Is she having drinking problems?' I wondered. I know she doesn’t like to drink. While I was getting my hair cut, praying that Jason ‘the stylist’ understood my desperate signals about length and gel or not gel, I kept thinking about Florencia’s ‘alleged’ drinking problem. (FYI: I learned the word alleged from Sofie’s lawyerwhoisaliar).

Is that why she told me to wait for her at Costa’s café, south on Wulumuqui Rd?, then just next to Costas’s there it was: 'The Eyebrow Clinic’. Although my brain was half frozen from the walk in the cold, I kept wondering: Do eyebrows get sick?

What is this?

Where am I?

What is the meaning of life?

Where do babies come from?

It was not until a few weeks after that I was educated in the complex business of eye-brows and how they redefine your face, confidence, and probably other more intimate things. Florencia explained the ‘behind the scene’ of the eyebrow / women relationship. Shape, form, texture and length. Of course you must have two and not just one. It seems that the ‘Frida Kahlo’ style is a no, no in Shanghai.

Then I started to pay close attention to Florencia’s eyebrows and they are in perfect shape, texture, length, color, and density. And of course she has two, not one. No Doll can have one eyebrow.  Again, I realized in my ignorance, that it takes talent to understand the poetry of looking fabulous like she does. She is another condemned (to success) Doll (with two exquisite eyebrows).

So my friends: don’t be afraid to be ‘condemned to success’. Find in yourselves what makes you unique like these four ‘Angels’. You deserve to be condemned to success; I have no doubts about it. And if you are a Shanghai Doll then you have the upper hand already.

See you next time,

Charlie (aka Shanghai Dude Anonymous)

Comments 

 

#6 RE: Condemned to Success — elena 2011-02-09 18:01

Simona, it's not just you who plans the next holiday right after the holiday. It's the first working day after CNY break and I spent half day planning my next diving trip to Philippines. I will be there from April 3 to April 10, going to Puerto Galera. When and where is your next trip?

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#5 RE: Condemned to Success — simona 2011-02-09 10:12

I loved this! I haven't have time to write a comment yet because... I was on holiday of course!
I need to plan the next one, after all it is the first day back in the office and wouldn't want to be too depressed!!
Charlie will have more to write soon, as he keeps hanging out with us...

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#4 Next vacation — elena 2011-01-27 23:42

I don't see anything wrong with planning next vacation right after you came from another. It's actually what they recommend to do not to get depressed once you go back to work.

I'm trying to be super organized this year and already planned next 3 vacations. Just got to buy tickets.

BTW 'Charlie', it was great to finally meet you at our anniversary party ))

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#3 RE: Condemned to Success — mei_yu 2011-01-22 16:23

Great! That's the real life! I wish I could write like that....
:-)))

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#2 RE: Condemned to Success — julia 2011-01-21 11:05

Yep I remember the tiger headband - I have a matching one at home... I think you should slip - he slipped up four times... tutt, tutt, tutt!

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#1 I remember — aLeGnaRoMa 2011-01-20 22:20

this photo! Haha, that tiger headband looks good on Ar... oops! I almost slipped, just like he did. ;P

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