Believe it or not, you can volunteer at an event and in the end feel… nothing. That’s when you start questioning yourself if you did something wrong or whether the event was unsuccessful. If you’ve gone to a few volunteer events and questioned yourself at the end, then most likely you’re going to all the wrong events. Don’t give up volunteering at this point; just make sure the event is within your interests. Volunteering can be your release valve after a stressful week at work, a week of boredom, or just wanting to be involved in the city. I would say volunteering is probably the greatest contribution an individual can give.  

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone to a number of volunteer events back home in Seattle and at times didn’t feel anything. For me, I like to feel an inner peace or happiness at the end so I know I made a difference and the event benefited from my help. For several events I’ve become a regular volunteer because the impact I gave and received was amazing. One event I regularly volunteer at is the yearly Spaghetti Feed event that my drill team helps operate. Located in a small venue in Chinatown, we serve spaghetti and garlic bread to anybody on welfare to have a free lunch. World hunger is a big issue that needs to be solved and doing the Spaghetti Feed event is the start of diminishing world hunger. Cleaning up after the event is usually when I start to feel my inner peace or happiness. With Spaghetti Feed, I feel it every year because I know I’m helping my community members in need. Knowing this, I feel as if I truly have made a big difference in the world.  

Shanghai Dolls may come from all around the world, but one experience unites us: we’re all wai guo nu ren (foreign women) here in China!  This experience can be exciting, glamorous, and advantageous… as well as frustrating, isolating, and inconvenient.  In addition to sharing this unique experience, we often share language and culture, which makes it easier to share friendship.

Although foreign girlfriends (especially Dolls!) can be vital to our happiness and sanity, most of us would probably be thrilled to add a few more Chinese friends to our circles.  The thing is, despite your best efforts, sometimes it’s just so… hard.

Most obviously, there’s the language barrier.  Then, you can’t agree on the best way to spend a Friday night: you like to dance until dawn after a few drinks at el Coctel, while she prefers to get a full night’s beauty sleep after KTV-ing it up at the nearest Haoledi.  On a deeper level, you have different life experiences and goals.  You’ve been able to visit several continents, and are working to establish yourself in your career before starting a family.  The only stamps in her passport are from the Expo pavilion staff, and she worries that if she doesn’t secure a husband by the magic age of 28, she’ll be forever doomed to a life of spinsterhood and financial insecurity.  There’s often a financial barrier as well:  many of us maintain or improve our lifestyles in Shanghai, while many educated, professional Chinese women still struggle to heat their homes and care for their aging parents.  Oh, and what is the deal with her texting you all the time and holding your hand?

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So you’ve lived in Shanghai for a while and gotten pretty comfortable here? Or maybe you’re fresh off the boat and ready to take this city by storm? Either way, learning Mandarin Chinese is absolutely essential for surviving and thriving in this booming metropolis.News flash: We live in China! Now, although it is not even close to your native tongue and you can certainly get by without speaking Mandarin Chinese here, learning the national lingo will pay off in many ways.

1. Break down Cultural BarriersChances are that you don’t speak Chinese with your friends here, especially when you share a common or native language like English. But what about making Chinese friends? It truly makes my day when I go get a mani/pedi and I can talk to the manicurist about where she is from and what color is in style (liu xin). When you can speak with street vendors or stylists, living in Shanghai seems less foreign and friendlier in general. On the flip side, when you cannot communicate with taxi drivers or bank tellers, it can be extremely frustrating.

As the Shanghai Dolls aims to be not only be a group who goes out to eat, drink and dance, we often have some events to instill a little culture into our members. One of these events was a painting class at [the studio] in  a sunny May  afternoon. Ok, don’t get me wrong it was an afternoon of painting while enjoying some nice wine, but culture was the main theme of the afternoon!

This kind of event is for a small group of up to 10 Dolls and is usually in high-demand. We started the afternoon with an introduction of what we were going to learn and then jumped right in! I know that all the girls there had an absolute ball and would love to do this type of class again.

If you don’t know about [the studio] it is a small art workshop/gallery that has regular classes for either children or adults. [the studio] has a group of artists utilizing the space, including painters, furniture designers and any other creative’s who mesh well with the group. It holds various activities from art classes, casual exhibitions, parties and anything else they feel is creative enough. [the studio] has a motto of express, inspire, create!

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